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[Seamus]

I like to write this stuff out to solidify it in my little noggin.

Last night, I enjoyed some herb, and afterward spent some time in what I like to call deep communion with my self.

I was working out in my mind the reasons for the self-imposed limitations I place on my self, and not getting many satisfying answers. I decided at one point to break free of the hypnosis of life-in-separation, and did so by surrendering and acknowledging my own oneness with everything (entering non-judgment/non-duality). An interesting thing then occurred. When I truly recognized the oneness of my own essence with the essence of all around me, my 3-d mental image of the "world outside myself" was shattered. I mean broken in a literal sense, as if I had been living my whole life up to that point inside a floor-to-ceiling glass cylinder filled with some kind of fluid. As I looked out around me, my whole field of vision was filled with these cylinders (the ceiling and floor were dark beyond black, and the cylinders emitted a weak blue-green glow), each one holding an"other" human being trapped inside their illusion. It felt like a mushroom trip I had about 10 months ago, where I had broken free from the cogs and wheels of the ride I was on, and observed it through old, experienced (yet not eternal) eyes. A very interesting detail was that once you are outside the reflective cylinder, you are free to see much more clearly what is going on with "other" people, since you are no longer hypnotized by your own set of programmed perceptions. You are free of "what you see is a reflection of yourself". I think I'm starting to just scratch the surface of what the mystery schools were really about.

Last night's vision was different, though... It included other humans. When I broke free of the illusion, I felt like I had become the ultra-empowered, "I don't give a f***" character whom I had always imagined the Devil to be. Not that I felt like I was the (bad and evil) Devil. No. This was an intuition, a realization from the inside that I now possessed the two main qualities that religions seek to suppress: self-ownership and absolute trust in the Creator (seen by the fearful as arrogance). I determined that my course in this life is no longer to be defined by any role that any being or beings wish me to play. My course is solely to be determined by my inherent nature. I trust Ø enough to WANT to see what will happen when I let myself be what I truly am. I, existing outside of the self-imposed cells of the Matrix, possess the very power human beings fear the most: certainty of deathlessness coupled with certainty of rectitude. I don't know of a single word in English that describes that, besides The Devil (in the most strictly Christian sense). Am I now the devil? Only to those who fear the truth. I said out loud a few nights ago, "I carry a light in this world". Only after I said it did it strike me... I had just said "I'm Lucifer" (as most of you probably know, Lucifer is Latin for "light-bearer"). Do I really believe I'm the fallen angel from heaven? About as much as I believe in the guy with the red suit and pitchfork. What an interesting turn of events. JC said "I am the light of the world". Hmm. I wonder whose idea it was that light should be cast in a fearful role?

The vision ended with the cells around me beginning to break open.

I love this game! I mean, I REALLY love this game!

[curiotrope]

Your post reminds me of some Alex Grey paintings. Are you familiar with that artist? I think you'd appreciate his art.

I've had a slightly similar experience recently. When I close my eyes I can sometimes see a web of energy seething around me. I like it. Thought I'd share.

[Seamus]

Yes, I've seen a lot of Alex Grey's work on the internet, and a few prints in friends' homes. It was kind of like that without so much eye-candy.