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[thequestforthequest]

I already "got it" in 2003, when I for the first time in my life asked "God please help me".

Everything changed. I could not intellectually discern what has happened but I knew on a deep level that something profound has happened. It was like I had walked in a sort of foggy zombie state before and suddenly been turned on like a light switch.

I did not comprehend it intellectually - and I was afraid like hell that it might turn back someday.
Sofar it has not turned back except maybe for short periods but i guess i had gotten so used to my improved state that it only seemed to me like "disconnection" again.

At that time I was living as a foreign exchange student from Germany with a host family in Florida in the USA. (I, of course mean the country not any corperation). I thought I was quite a dumb a** and not the least bit qualified for representing my country properly - well at least i was somewhat humble.

So everything changed that October in 2003.

So what should I tell now?

So some suffering happened etc and here i am now.

Now that i think of it i had "lucid" moments even before, several of them. I, as a computer stuff interested, called it being "online". now that i think of it my first alcohol experience on a trip with my school did a big change.



What do I want to do next?
I hope for more clarity and maybe a set of rules where i can orient myself how this all works, how Ø operates when am i connected when disconnected.



Any input by anyone is appreciated.

[Seamus]

it can come and go as a transitory experience, or it can be made a regular part of your daily experience. It depends on your level of trust. it is inversely proportional to your level of vanity (that quality that seems to give you an excuse for thinking that you control any aspect of your life.)

[thequestforthequest]

It depends on my level of trust.

I have one more question please:

Will i lose my individuality. Do all englightened people have the same personality, do they think, and talk all alike like robots?


Or will I still stay "me".



Yes I see clearly what you mean by vanity, Seamus, but right now thats something I cant do away with this instant. But being aware of it is good for a start.

Thank you, I guess, although I was kind of aware of it before.



Edit to add:

I saw a video on youtube by "Mooji" where he says, that we are One Being and individual expression of that One Being.

[roage]

Will i lose my individuality. Do all englightened people have the same personality, do they think, and talk all alike like robots?

Or will I still stay "me".

There is only one "me" so I cannot figure out what you are driving at. Not only will you talk like a robot but you will have to stick your tongue in a light socket from time to time to recharge.

Were I you, I would ask myself why I continually bounce back and forth between lucidity and absurdity to the extent where it merely creates confusion in those who are trying real hard to provide that which you need.

Had you truly "got it" in 2003 much of what you chose to do on the forum would not have occurred.

Simply because you are good at fooling yourself does in no way mean you have fooled most of those who observe you.

[thequestforthequest]

application of Reason

the solution is to apply reason.

[roage]

application of Reason

the solution is to apply reason.

Yes.