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[roage]

Enough of this has coalesced such that I can make sense of it.

Early after I switched on it was indicated to me that I was not to enter the sanctuary of a traditional church or “I would defile myself and be made unclean.” This was a difficult for one who had been an Evangelical Christian for 20 years. I went through this amazing transition and all I wanted to do is show people “how easy it was”. That proved to be an extremely frustrating challenge. It would take more than a year before I met another who even understood what I was talking about. This was not because they did not exist but because for some reason I was kept away from them. I guess I was not ready.

It was because I did not want to be the only one that I focused my attention on my ability to show others that I had forsaken my own growth. That served to hasten the rapid speed that the process was documented. It took time to refine it and practice. There were miserable failures and much to learn. I attended a funeral of a family and entered a sanctuary with what I thought was a “pass”. It was not a pass and soon after not realizing a specific blindness chose to enter the sanctuary of the “Church of Religious Science” in an effort to find other who were enlightened. They were not and my experience was quite unsettling. This was a willful violation where the warning was not significantly strong to keep from blowing by it. I maintained sufficient connection but I now had a huge blind spot.

This blind spot was a huge hole that allowed much confusion and suffering to enter. I could help others but I was unable to realize the “opportunities” I once enjoyed. Eventually, the pressure became chronic.

It led to an incident where I hit my wife. I take full responsibility for the entire event and for that lapse in judgment I spent 15 days in jail. I am still trying to get back to the place I was before but to this point I am unable. I can try to couch it as a great learning experience but perhaps that is something I will leave to another time. I allowed confusion, pride and arrogance into my relationship and it as successfully poisoned everything.

There is no excuse for hitting a woman and to allow my anger to get the best of me only proves I master nothing.

I cannot hold Eliane responsible in any way as, quite frankly, it was all my doing from the start. I have been a poor husband and made poor choices. Worst of all I selfishly blamed everyone else for my shortcomings. I con only hope that the damage done to people that wasted their time listening to me was not as costly for them as my arrogance has been for me. It is apparent to me that will continually suffer the consequences of bad choices I made long ago and I will continue to face them as best as I am able.

Roage

[Gooseone]

You show you learned a great deal from this Roage , The cyclic nature of the Universe has prevailed over the lineair one.
I take it a lot of nuances are quite clear at this point , it is good to have you back

[Moose]

Finaly you see and understand that when i once said to you." you are more than a doorman" it meant excatly that.

You didn't drop into flesh to end up serving others the way you assumed.
Life comes and goes along with time and seasons.
It is the same as nature, Man seems to believe he can help it, seems to believe his purpose is to fight those who kill it and abuse it. When really nature needs only to be nature.
You, as we have come to know you are Roger Pool.
A simple MAN, that worked it out, was given the peace and the knowledge that was stolen and hidden from you at birth, and this is all you need to be. Being in line with your true self of no name, no hate, no clutter.

Hug your Ego and let it shine for a moment, Tame it, collobrate and work together, without it you are not you, and you would not of gotten this far. Live this life standing tall soaking into every moment of what it has to show and give, smile with pride, Feel everything with Love.

there is no failing here. Only growth and strength.
Walk the walk from now on and stop riding the freeway

As for the Chruch......Oh boy. Thy shall not worship false GODS..it includes crossing the line into the false gods house. Now don't do it again !!!!! or i spank you!

Welcome back, and i look forward to the flower you are about to become

[D@mien]

I feel you have put alot in the right spot. I will share some thoughts and feelings in the mather. Take what you wish and leave the rest.

May i suggest that the incident with your wife played out the way it did for you to learn a lesson. Remember the part of the Ego hides where you least expects it. As for other people. I'm sure they can find the truth in "your" writings but also where you go wrong. If they/we thought of you as perfect that would be to put a man in authority. May i also suggest that you don't be to hard on yourself, cause i feel it is only hurt pride. Love yourself whith spots. I'm sure you Will get back to where you where when the leason is learned. No one is special, the SA know i have to learn that.

There are no failures, only lessons learned or not.

Love to you

Daniel

[permie1]

I will not throw the baby out with the bathwater. It doesn't matter who reveals these insights, the truth in the teachings stand alone. There is truly something for everyone to learn from this tremendous ride and this lesson should serve as a great teaching tool for all the members and readers on this forum. I think we all have been guilty in projecting Roger as greater than life like a modern day moses. Roage is a Man whose great mind was given important teachings but his Ego was only too happy to confuse by taking these great insights making them purposeful for the need of the Ego, hence the doorman to be in servitude to others. When time came for the veil to clash with the teachings ,Ego, in it's infinite "wisdom", , started to lash out when backed in the corner. When Ahn was asked to finally crack "Mr. impervious man" things were set into motion... Many things have been revealed and now the purging has started. Roger you talked the talk but now you will walk the walk and you have my support.

Hug your Ego and let it shine for a moment, Tame it, collobrate and work together, without it you are not you, and you would not of gotten this far. Live this life standing tall soaking into every moment of what it has to show and give, smile with pride, Feel everything with Love.

As moose says at this point there is no need to fight, beat, or suppress the Ego for it is time to make peace with it so all can work together. I can only profess the truth in it and that it is the next step in the enlightenment process, because I too exist in harmony as all work in collaboration, as it should.

Welcome back, and i look forward to the flower you are about to become

Flower indeed Looks like someone is going to be a very busy little bee

Love to all

[Seamus]

Having spoken to you a couple of times since your 'shaking', I'd say you have increased in valuable qualities, rather than decreased.

When Ahn shakes, it is to remove weakness and strengthen and build on what remains after the shaking.

[Moose]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS7OruPswBE&feature=related

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I've changed my face, I've changed my name
But no-one wants you when you lose

Don't give up
'cos you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good


Though I saw it all around
Never thought that I could be affected
Thought that we'd be last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up
We don't need much of anything
Don't give up
'cause somewhere there's a place
Where we belong
Rest your head
You worry too much
It's going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don't give up
Please don't give up

Got to walk out of here
I can't take any more
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river's flowing
That river's flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

Don't give up
'cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
Don't give up
You know its never been easy
Don't give up
'cause I believe there's a place
There's a place where we belong

[D@mien]

It led to an incident where I hit my wife. I take full responsibility for the entire event and for that lapse in judgment I spent 15 days in jail

There is truly something for everyone to learn from this tremendous ride and this lesson should serve as a great teaching tool for all the members and readers on this forum

First of i would like to apologize if my first response seemed harsh or emotionless. There is a reason for that to, wont go into that on this thread though.

Secondly i would like to say that i think both of you have showed great courage and trust in giving so much of yourself. There is no weakness in that, quite the opposite, and i feel that it's admirable and that it shows you both have truly generous characters. I don't know you personally, wouldn't mind though, and i can only go by a hunch. I can say this, both of you have grown in my, although limited, view. Love attracts love, and that is what i'm trying to resend to you with these words.


Daniel

[roage]

Thanks Everyone

I know it has been difficult for many to understand. I had my doubts but the lessons learned here are manifold and rather sobering for me as I have experienced something that would cause most men to go to war.

[Anuren]

....and if you had, it was already given.

Much love to you and Eliane