roage.free-forum.net

[maja]

Hello to all!

I've been lurking for about 3 months doing a lot of reading not only from roage's site and this forum, but all over the net trying to figure out the Truth, to connect to Ø.... my life is getting unbearable....I'm horrible to be around with. Finally, i've found Roage's words that one needs to post on this forum to get moving on this path.... so here I am.
All of this I've been doing with my husband...I do not know if this can work for us both this way...his english is bad, I have to do a lot of translating for him. Anyway we are both searching for "enlightment", and we are both going crazy these last few weeks, espescially these last 2-3 days.
It's been years since we have felt trully happy, as the years go by everything is just getting worse in our lives....after every blow we would say that after rain the sun should shine, but to us it feels like it's only raining, and the rain just gets harder.... yeah, seems like we made victims of ourselves....anyway, whatever we try, it's just getting worse....
We both said out loud that we wanna sign the contract with Ø, and except seeing a few (very few, maybe like 1-2 times) syncronicities (4:44) nothing else seems to be taking place. I know one should not be impatient and franticaly search for the door but that's what I've been doing since nothing has been happening.... yes I'm freaking out. We are both, and we are both unbearable.

Thanks and please, oh please be fast

[Deckard666]

Hello you two

What is your native language? Maybe there's someone on the board wit some experience who can make it easier for you in your native language.

What you describe as "going crazy" sounds like the problems I had. You WANT it. You get it. So sit back and receive it. Do not act. Do not look for it. Wait and observe. It is not only numbers. The whole study room is used as a tool of teaching you. For example: The concept of souveranity wat shown to me through a strolling cat that decided to stay around my place. Every person in your focus can give you hints that take you further. You are used to teach others and they are used to teach you.

Namaste,

Deckard

[Richard]

This may sound like some stupid questions to you, but what is getting worse? And, do you understand the concept of getting out of your own way? And what is it you expect to get from 'enlightenment' ? Also, what do you consider fast fast?

[Gooseone]

Being in a hurry and seeking "enlightenment" as an instant means of solving all problems won't work , not at first any way.
What is making you "be horrible to be around" ? , look at why you drive yourself to be that way , it is probably a reaction to a certain situation.
You always are just that ..being.
I would suggest taking a deep breath and try to observe your own " brainchatter" for a moment . Although almost always one get's acknowledgement from Ø , this is usually not by means of wanting Ø to solve an immediate problem (Christians try that with praying i think ...look at the results )

Welcome abord btw , it might help to tell a bit how you are looking toward your problems and how you try and deal with them

[roage]

Hello to all!

I've been lurking for about 3 months doing a lot of reading not only from roage's site and this forum, but all over the net trying to figure out the Truth, to connect to Ø.... my life is getting unbearable....I'm horrible to be around with. Finally, i've found Roage's words that one needs to post on this forum to get moving on this path.... so here I am.
All of this I've been doing with my husband...I do not know if this can work for us both this way...his english is bad, I have to do a lot of translating for him. Anyway we are both searching for "enlightment", and we are both going crazy these last few weeks, espescially these last 2-3 days.
It's been years since we have felt trully happy, as the years go by everything is just getting worse in our lives....after every blow we would say that after rain the sun should shine, but to us it feels like it's only raining, and the rain just gets harder.... yeah, seems like we made victims of ourselves....anyway, whatever we try, it's just getting worse....
We both said out loud that we wanna sign the contract with Ø, and except seeing a few (very few, maybe like 1-2 times) syncronicities (4:44) nothing else seems to be taking place. I know one should not be impatient and franticaly search for the door but that's what I've been doing since nothing has been happening.... yes I'm freaking out. We are both, and we are both unbearable.

Thanks and please, oh please be fast

Nice to meet you Maja. I have been working on the site to get it such that one can log in and see all the material. The login and registration works. I have locked it down so those who are not serious will not bother with it.

How fast is it depends on if you are ready. We all say we are ready but truly it is not a matter of what we think. We cannot will our way to enlightenment. The pressure you feel is merely to get you attention. Once you look at the universe like a classroom and recognize that the teacher has been teaching you all along than all that is left is learning how the teacher communicates.

Have you watched the videos on YouTube? The best way to go about it is through the fast track material:

http://www.roage.com/default.aspx?PageID=165

The links on this page will prompt you to have an account.

Go through the material as it will generate questions. Bring your questions to this forum.

Roage

[maja]

WOW That was FAST!!!!
Thank you guys We are both delighted!
To answer some of your questions:
Our native language is serbian (croatian, bosnian), but I can manage, my reading english is much better than my writting. It's just that I'm not so sure about me translating your messages to my husband, probably a lot will be lost in translation... especially since the meaning and not the word definition is more important.
Gooseone, to answer your question about us being horrible to spend time with ...yes, some situations are causing us both to explode. Some years ago we almost never fought between ourselves, but it slowly progressed in time to this ...us both being disgusted with ourselves and vice versa, fighting almost every day. That could and most probably is a lesson not yet learned but we are simply just not getting it....what is it that we don't see.... there are these moments when I can, like, step "outside" and see how horrible I am (like observing myself through someone elses eyes).
When I said fast, I ment only for you guys to answer me fast, so that we can get moving on, not fast in the meaning that we want immediate "enlightment". Because we both "started" the process like over a month ago and are either "blind" or not ready or maybe doing it wrong.
Richard, as for your questions .... what is getting worse? .... the overall quality of our lives.... I will speak only for myself now... I feel like I'm trapped in a box, I just can't fit anywhere, my will power is very oftenly reduced almost to 0.... I can't see the point in any of this... why would I or Ø for that matter have any use of my totaly uneventfull life experience (the events, if there are any, are mostly negative and painful, and probably lived already)? so I guess, the answer to your next question, what do I expect of "being enlighted"?, would be that I would love to know at least WHY? What is the purpose? Is it boring and painful just because of unlearned lessons and if not, then, why is it that way? What is this game? Would love to see it as a game (I still can't) as you guys do, just that must be very liberating.... Not even the hole Truth, just seeing the glimpse of it, even better, KNOWING it. This might be my ego talking, but I just want to leave, wish Ø would make a much nicer place to be next time round. Wish to be in a place were people around me are smarter than me, nicer than me (yes, I am aware that I wrote that, very ego-istic), so that when I wake up I would look forward to a day that would be filled with beautiful things to see and learn and share.... ...maybe when "in Truth" there is no feelings.... then how is it to just BE and not feel?
Sorry for all this rambling, i got carried away (thought of deleting it but I decided not to even though I'm a bit scared of being labeled as an egomaniac, I admit)

My husband is asleep, he has no idea what I wrote. I will have to read it to him tomorrow.

Roage, we watched your video's and read a lot from your web site. We will watch them again since it was almost the first thing we did when discovering your web site (through your thread on David Icke's forum) about 3 months ago. Maybe we might "see" something we missed the first time. And I will follow the link you left as soon as I finish writing this post. I already have some ( a lot) of questions but will ask them some other time.

Sorry, I missed answering Richard's question: "do you understand the concept of getting out of your own way?" Sorry, but this question is puzzling me, actually the "of" in the question is what I don't understand.... without it, the question has one meaning that I understand and with it.... sorry I just can't get it...so , probably I do not understand the concept at all Maybe it is just my bad english. I'll answer it this way: everyone might and probably does have a totally unique way out from left to right-brain perception... but, would'nt Roage's method at least be some kind of basic structure, starting point of the process that could/would be the same to all of you, the observers, on this forum? If not, then I am really missing something huge in understanding Roage's texts.

Thank you all, again, and, boy, you ARE fast!
Will be back soon.

[Gooseone]

Well , as you mentioned you are able to see outside of "yourself" , which is infact yourself and the yourself you are usally talking about is not yourself
(hope that makes sense )
You talk about will power yet using that to control anything that is outside of you seems unlickely to work out nicely , if you have a clearer notion of yourself
you will find that you're willing with your mind ...not yourself , and the self is not controlled by "willing" , it just is ..always.
So if you react to something in a way you are not happy with afterwards , why do it ?
The only key here is to not "will" yourself into specifically "not doing it" but just observe what is going on in your body concerning emotions and contemplated thoughts by your mind. There is a major difference between "willing" and "showing sincere intention".
You already said you know how it is to "just observe" , the only thing is you have to forget how to not do that ....mind you , any thought that comes up is usually not it.
There is no need to look for an outside source to get to that point, it is omnipresent , it sometimes can be described as that bit of awareness you always have been ...if you were to look back at any situation in your past do you remember all your thoughts and what you wanted to do at that time or do you just picture a past situation instantly and all sorts of thoughts and feeling floating by ?

I think i might come over a bit unclear but it's hard to explain these concepts sometimes

[Nect4r$]

.

[D@mien]

Hello Maja,
and welcome
First of all i think your english is very good. I don't think you have to worry about translating.

Gooseone, to answer your question about us being horrible to spend time with ...yes, some situations are causing us both to explode. Some years ago we almost never fought between ourselves, but it slowly progressed in time to this ...us both being disgusted with ourselves and vice versa, fighting almost every day. That could and most probably is a lesson not yet learned but we are simply just not getting it....what is it that we don't see.... there are these moments when I can, like, step "outside" and see how horrible I am (like observing myself through someone elses eyes).

You are asking the questions so the answers will come. That doesn't mean we can answer what you don't see, that only you can know. Answers may come in dreams, daily experiences, number sequences, movies, books, music and so on. For me it is like i know when i receive a piece of the puzzle. When you step outside i believe you are stepping out of ego-mode. The ego has a tendency to transform reality so that everything seems like someone else "fault". What is unbearable to confront is projected at others. So the self keep playing up the same scenario until we see that we played it all out against ourself (to learn) and until we take responsibility for our life experiences.

This might be my ego talking, but I just want to leave, wish Ø would make a much nicer place to be next time round. Wish to be in a place were people around me are smarter than me, nicer than me (yes, I am aware that I wrote that, very ego-istic), so that when I wake up I would look forward to a day that would be filled with beautiful things to see and learn and share....

If this comes across as harsh that is not my intention. I have been there and i believe we all have. There are two sides of being narcissistic and one is everybody is dumber then me or not as nice as me and the other is the opposite. For me i have seen people transform when released from the "cage" my ego put around them. When we realize the fear that we all are the same and that there is a lesson to be learned even in the painful relationships. When this lesson is solved then things shift and maybe you see that you already are in a place filled with beautiful things where there is a lot to learn and things to share and you get rid of that who has played out it's role in your life.

Sorry for all this rambling, i got carried away (thought of deleting it but I decided not to even though I'm a bit scared of being labeled as an egomaniac, I admit)

The ego fears to loose control (that it don't have in the first place) and tells you not to trust, not to reach out, not to be stupid and so on. You are taking steps against that and it's power will gradually weaken.

Due to lack of time, energy and language barriers i can't explain deeper (or more concise ) now.

Love to you both and to all

[Richard]

maja,
Trapped in a box and exploding......does this get you out of the box? Fighting almost every day...does this get you anywhere, in the sense of improving the overall quality of your life? Totally uneventful life experience...is there something else you would rather be or might have the opportunity to do? And what and when was the last time life experience seemed positive and eventful? Aaahh the purpose of life...this is a question which has been asked through out history. My take on it is... that for each of us in our individuation the everyday of it is a different path on the return to source. And even though seen as a game, many sometimes get very egotistically into that game, possibly stepping away from the observing status, and other times not realizing that sometimes things we do or say happen for the benefit of others, as well as ourselves so to speak.( as I believe we are all part of the One) maja might it be possible for you to ask for a glimpse expecting nothing in particular and trust that it will be shown to you? You already have the ability to get out of your own way, step outside of yourself as you have stated, this is really something. And you have found this place where you may ask questions and share and there are links to beautiful things to see and learn, so maybe that day you wanted to look forward to has arrived already.
These questions I have asked are just something for you to consider and I require no answers unless you so wish to. I truly hope they may be of some small help...