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[Swift46]

I'm getting nothing, no synchronicity, no intreuging thoughts, I feel like I'm being pushed away from this, I feel like just giving up on this stuff, the memories I had to prove the SA are fading, but I know that the SA exists, quitting this would just be lying to myself and would accomplish nothing. I have come to realize that i feel completely powerless. A big thing happened recently, I'm 16, I experienced loss for the first time, I turned to the SA for answers but nothing happened, I tried to pay attention for everything. Ever since then after that day all has been silent. Its weird.

[Nect4r$]

Sounds very much like your perhaps trying to hard to get results, which is one way to create a pretty fortified wall between you and whatever your trying to achieve. Maybe its time to throw your arms up in the air and just let go of all effort? Frustration and confusion can be a good lesson when we start believing that we have any control over results.

As Roage states in the Grail presentation, "The first stage, is to realize that one must lose power and control in order to gain power and control".

Just something to ponder.

As for synchronicities... they're there, the head pests just doing its job by blinding you to this fact. Dont bother looking for them, just pay attention to the thoughts your presented and where your eyes tend to roam and rest. We dont find them, they find us.

Hope this helps, and sorry to hear you've suffered a loss recently. I hope it wasnt anything to drastic dude.

[Richard]

What is it that you are seeking? Answers? Proof? Understanding?

While 16 may seem getting older to/for you, I would like to congradulate you for being aware enough to seek at such a young age. As to your loss, they are never easy. In my own experience over the years I've noticed a shutting down or encapsuling of my sense of self in order to feel safe. At which point I have been trying to understand and regroup from the loss. I'm sure there is even some medical term for this (but who needs the long words). One of the main points here is that when you are ready to open up and trust, there are things to learn and understand, at which point you may want to accept your sovereignity. This is a process which everyone goes through at there own rate. It isn't magic, it is understanding. It may happen because it makes sense to you or it doesn't at this time.
Also you mention feeling powerless ...might you expand on this?

[Joseph]

Roage told me somtimes people who are about to quit are very close but it is actually their ego that is quitting. When they quit they actually cross the threshold because it is their ego that quit. But that doesn't mean you should quit though. you should keep trying and whatever happens happens.

[Deckard666]

Everything you decribe Swift sounds "good". Good as in "nice lesson". The SA knows what you need to know - what you need to have experience to fully understand what should be taught. It's pure ego thinking to believe it ain't so. I have experienced it often enough in the last months. Everything happened for a reason - even if I did not see it at that time (or did not want to see it). The manipulation we are under goes deep. A good preparation is necessary to not "lose your mind". This adjustment takes different time for anybody. It is a protection and in this case it is good it's there.

Feeling helpless is exactly what you need to learn. Because you are helpless. On your own. You have no control. What could one learn by that?

If you are helpless anyway - why not trust the only one who can help?

Trust is really the greatest obstacle to overcome .. ego may say "I trust you" or think "I trust you" but only the self can do it to whatever end. And that takes time to learn and accept. I can say I am world champion in saying "but if ..." and falling off that wonderful wave.

You're into this as long as I am if I remember correct. Over the last months I had my ups and many downs and especially whenever I felt lost against Roage gave me a kick in the butt and I kept going. And everything turned out to be perfect timing. You realize that some downs very necessary to gather new insights. You're not punished or lesser loved than anybody else ... you just need to be taught that way that often so you will get it in the end and make the correct behaviour second nature to you. You are right now in the classroom even if you don't feel like it.

Btw it's wonderful you are just 16. I wish I could have been able to see reality as it is at that age and not at the olf fart age of 38 as I have to endure now

Don't give up old friend.

Namaste,

Deckard

[Seamus]

Ditto what Deckard said.

If only I were 16 and understood what I do now.

But some things only come with time.

[Swift46]

Im getting synchronicity again

[Anuren]

Im getting synchronicity again

We are pleased to hear this......continue to 'ride' the flow......be what you are being...you do not walk alone.