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[Gemini]

I have been over a lot of the uncomfortable experiences of my life so far, and I believe I have come to terms with the reasoning for them and I seem to be able to deal with them easily, in that I no longer beat myself up about them and feel I have learned the lessons needed from them. However, I know for a fact that I have missing time from my childhood. What I mean by that is, I can remember a time before, I can remember a time after, but there is this bit in the middle that is completely gone. No matter how hard I might try to remember I just don't seem able. I must have been about 5/6 at the time.
Reading Roage's Cheat Sheet Mark II, the Repression Process piece, it seems that I am going to be unable to be granted sovereignty unless I can remember this period of my life, as I can only assume the memory is suppressed because the ego felt it was too distressing for the observer. Is there anything I can do to help me remember, or is it just a matter of waiting it out until Ø sees that I'm ready?

[Gooseone]

You are right in knowing it will be shown when you are ready.
In the meantime , maybe there are hints ?
Particular situations , reoccuring dreams and such.
If you try to go back an reevaluate your situation , you might be led towards that which is opressed.

[Seamus]

It is for uses such as this, that LSD was created. It is extremely helpful in exposing hidden thoughts and memories. Not that I condone illegal things

[GodIsMyJudge]

Hey Gemini, you can be sovereign if you cannot remember such memories. All you have to realize is where you stand as of now, and how you got to where you are now. If you never had gone through your childhood, you wouldn't be where you are today. That's easy to understand, right? Obviously you had a childhood, despite the fact that you can't remember the middle part, you still lived through it. Look within yourself and realize how far you've come to actually learn about the Truth on Roage's site. Now all you need to do is place your unconditional trust and love within God, your creator, and know that he is there within you every second of your life. Don't think about future scenarios either, for that is the ego trying to create a fictional simulation that serves you no good.

For example: You're about to buy a dog at a dog store that you have never visited. You have 200$ in your pocket and you believe that you can get the dog that you are looking for. The entire drive there, your ego is thinking about you seeing the dog you long for, running up to it, and it was only 200$ so that you may buy it and live happily. Your hopes and excitement keep increasing as the seconds go by, but only till you reach the shop is when you realize that all the dogs there are over 1,000$, and you cannot purchase one.

The way you want to go about it is like this: Okay God, I got this amount of money, and I'm going to go to the dog store to see what I can find. If I find the right dog for the right price, then I was meant to get that dog today, for that is my obligation. If I do not have a sufficient amount of money, or the dog that I'm looking for is not there, then so be it. It was not the time for me to get a dog, for God has something in store for me and the dog will be a distraction.

You must place unconditional trust in God my friend! Observe your every surrounding and notice that God is with you everywhere you go! You can be sovereign, you will become sovereign!

[roage]

I have been over a lot of the uncomfortable experiences of my life so far, and I believe I have come to terms with the reasoning for them and I seem to be able to deal with them easily, in that I no longer beat myself up about them and feel I have learned the lessons needed from them. However, I know for a fact that I have missing time from my childhood. What I mean by that is, I can remember a time before, I can remember a time after, but there is this bit in the middle that is completely gone. No matter how hard I might try to remember I just don't seem able. I must have been about 5/6 at the time.
Reading Roage's Cheat Sheet Mark II, the Repression Process piece, it seems that I am going to be unable to be granted sovereignty unless I can remember this period of my life, as I can only assume the memory is suppressed because the ego felt it was too distressing for the observer. Is there anything I can do to help me remember, or is it just a matter of waiting it out until Ø sees that I'm ready?

That may not be the case as you may get close enough without it. Even after going through you will still have things that need to be cleared so a complete memory is not required for a meeting of the minds. The transition must occur when you have sufficient time to do so. The transition can bring a number of changes and may take a week of intensive downloads to complete. It cannot occur if you have other responsibilities that take precedent like a job or family. My daughter is in a similar situation as she has to take care of the kids.

You may have lessons pending that need to be learned. It is OK it happens when it is the best time. You are doing just fine. There is no need to rush. I am thinking it may have something to do with the energy levels. We are tuned into different levels as the energy ratchets up another notch a new batch goes through and a new group starts seeking.

Just exist and trust that the timing will be right. I know you are anxious but that waiting is itself contingent on a level of trust.

You can asked to see what could be holding you up or what the purpose of the delay is.

[Gemini]

Thanks for the replies.

I realise now I am trying to rush, forgetting that it is more a not doing than a doing kind of process. I shall not try to remember, I shall just be... trusting Ø and enjoying the journey.

[roage]

Thanks for the replies.

I realise now I am trying to rush, forgetting that it is more a not doing than a doing kind of process. I shall not try to remember, I shall just be... trusting Ø and enjoying the journey.

That can be the hardest part.

[Joseph]

Oh Hell! I can't remember nothing from my childhoold especially 5-6. I grew up in a country where capital punishment is encouraged. (that practice has been stopped as today) I get hit in school and at home all the time. What we did was child abuse, but people at the time believed that it is good for the kids if we hit them often. I often get slapped across the face or get whipped by a belt or hit with a stick for every little thing like being late to class or talking to a friend next to me during class. Once in awhile I hear story about someone gets punished in school and almost died. In fact I probably get hit hundreds of times just in elementary school, and now I don't remember a thing. There is no way I can remember every single negative experience.

But the point is not necessary to remember all of them but to learn right? I wonder if it is just as good if we ask God to repeat those lesson in real life in a different way. Because if we really have to remember everything, I have no chance in this life time.

Well so far I think God tried to teach me very basic law at that age such as don't hit my sister and don't pick on classmates and don't tell lies and don't steal and don't cheat on tests even though I failed at all of them. Why would God teach us complicated life lessons at that age? So I think if God is reasonable, we don't have to remember every little thing at that age because we can't expect to and because those lessons are simple.

I now have trouble even with things that happened a few years ago.

Edit to add: I was a real bad ass at that age. If I didn't have a cute face, nobody would find me lovable. But now it is easy for me to love naughty kids because I was the same way back then. As a youth pastor, strangely I sometimes even find myself partial to kids who are troublemakers. So that's probably an important life lesson.

[roage]

I have found the study of repressed memories rather interesting as it has become very common how trauma is handled by disassociation. That is interesting unless you are the one going through it, in which case it, can become a horrible ordeal forever tainting one's experience:

http://moneyteachers.org/Glenn.Pace.htm

This article deals with extreme cases but it can be helpful to understand the capacity of our experience to shield us from the ugly aspects. Only when you develop a skill in separating the observer from the environment will one be able to uncover the more uncomfortable aspects of our history. Many men who have been abused as young boys have a hardest time coping with the "pleasurable" aspects of an experience they knew as "wrong". It is a tangle to forgive away all aspects of the experience. The worst ones are when we relent and become complicit in our own abuse. Courage is the exploration is paramount to reconciliation.

[Joseph]

Only when you develop a skill in separating the observer from the environment will one be able to uncover the more uncomfortable aspects of our history.

Hi Roage, you have talked to me about seperating the observer from environment several times. You told me during unpleasant experience to wear the body like a suit knowning that this is just a simulation.

I remember learning about a technique from the East called "dual attention". Basically people split attention between the external world, their conscious mind, and the body simultanously. It's dual because 50% external and 50% on mind/body. I think this might be related to the doctrine of the Middle Way. I have tried it briefly but hard to maintain.

Are they the same thing? I mean do they work toward similar goal?