roage.free-forum.net

[ScarrletFlower111]

Hi Everyone thi is my first post nd im excited to see what happpens!
sooo heres a situation thats been bothering me these past few months everytime i go to my dads house it feeels horrible. its sooo depressing and tense and i get terrible headaches and it just feels hopeless i first i just thought it was me but then everytime i brought one of my freinds or family over there they felt the same but not as extreme as me and soo i want to noe wat u guyz think about the energy or feel of a place. and if anything like dat has ever happened to anyone else???

[D@mien]

Hi Everyone thi is my first post nd im excited to see what happpens!
sooo heres a situation thats been bothering me these past few months everytime i go to my dads house it feeels horrible. its sooo depressing and tense and i get terrible headaches and it just feels hopeless i first i just thought it was me but then everytime i brought one of my freinds or family over there they felt the same but not as extreme as me and soo i want to noe wat u guyz think about the energy or feel of a place. and if anything like dat has ever happened to anyone else???

Hi,
And first of all welcome ScarrletFlower111
Second of all this are just thoughts/hunches/feelings that strikes me from reading your post.
Take from it what you wish. No harm intended.
You say that you get terrible headaches and that it feels depressing, tense and hopeless.
Do your dad have a part in that or is it just the place. If your dad has a part in it, would you say that he plays the victim. If so it could be a case of 'psychic vampirism'. With that said i do not mean to cast no blame in any direction. It takes two to dance so to speak. Sometimes these things runs deep and can be hard to recognize when loved ones is involved. I would say that a lot of people are playing the 'victim game' unknowingly and have learnt that the only way of getting energy is through other people.

With this i have experiences. For me it was from unresolved issues and fear of being a bad unloving child. I would say that the 'victim' can be a specialist in pulling the wright strings and that everything isn't always what meets the eyes.

If it has nothing to do with your dad then i can't recollect anything at the moment, except maybe hospitals. Even in the case of hospitals i think that it's more often than not is a case of internal issues (fear of death and so on) rather then external energies influencing one to feel that way.Could be wrong though.

Maybe someone else here can give you better answers. If you feel like it you could explain some more.

[ScarrletFlower111]

D@mien u r absolutely rite on point ive always suspected dat was the reason everything u said ur rite
but me and him dont get along at all mostly becuz he alwayz treated me the worst i dont live with him anymore and im worried about my other smaller siblings ..... do u
think ders sum way i could help him?

[roage]

D@mien u r absolutely rite on point ive always suspected dat was the reason everything u said ur rite
but me and him dont get along at all mostly becuz he alwayz treated me the worst i dont live with him anymore and im worried about my other smaller siblings ..... do u
think ders sum way i could help him?

Good question.

It is counter-intuitive. They way you help him is first you must help yourself. This is why you are here in this forum. One must be responsible and own their experience. That means you are responsible for what you do and more importantly what was done to you. You came here specifically for the experience you have collected thus far. For your father to treat you as he does means that you needed him to do that so you could become the interesting being you have become. Our character is built on sacred suffering. You needed it to happen and that is why he serves the purpose of lovingly, perhaps unknowingly, giving you that experience. He cannot do anything to you that you have not given him the power to do.

In this way to "help" him is to help yourself so that you no longer require such treatment and you can move on to more comfortable experience.

He is not doing it to you. You are using him to do it to yourself. You are responsible. When you decide you no longer need him to do then it will stop. You must work on the reasons you need him to do this and what good things you learned from that experience. Take time and really think about it. You will find that it was a "good" thing that those "bad" things happened.

All is as it should be.

Roage

[D@mien]

D@mien u r absolutely rite on point ive always suspected dat was the reason everything u said ur rite
but me and him dont get along at all mostly becuz he alwayz treated me the worst i dont live with him anymore and im worried about my other smaller siblings ..... do u
think ders sum way i could help him?

Good question.

It is counter-intuitive. They way you help him is first you must help yourself. This is why you are here in this forum. One must be responsible and own their experience. That means you are responsible for what you do and more importantly what was done to you. You came here specifically for the experience you have collected thus far. For your father to treat you as he does means that you needed him to do that so you could become the interesting being you have become. Our character is built on sacred suffering. You needed it to happen and that is why he serves the purpose of lovingly, perhaps unknowingly, giving you that experience. He cannot do anything to you that you have not given him the power to do.

In this way to "help" him is to help yourself so that you no longer require such treatment and you can move on to more comfortable experience.

He is not doing it to you. You are using him to do it to yourself. You are responsible. When you decide you no longer need him to do then it will stop. You must work on the reasons you need him to do this and what good things you learned from that experience. Take time and really think about it. You will find that it was a "good" thing that those "bad" things happened.

All is as it should be.

Roage

Thanks Roage

I have thought all day long on how i could express this answer.
Due to language barriers it would have taken it's time and i'm sure i couldn't have formulated it so concise and straight to the point. Whit that said i wouldn't want to put it any other way.


It is right it should be so;
Man was made for Joy and Woe;
And when this we rightly know,
Thro’ the World we safely go.
Joy and Woe are woven fine,
A Clothing for the soul divine. - William Blake

ScarrletFlower111
You have come to this forum and you have asked questions and that is part of taking responsibility. There are no coincidences. As Roage says, help yourself. There are no victims.
There is a lot of information to read in other threads and in Roage's material.
And when questions are asked here, answers tend to come

[ScarrletFlower111]

i think i get sooo u guys are saying i should forgive him and see the positive reasons of wat he did.. i think i have...thanks for reminding me everything that happens to us is because weve agreed 2 it already sooo ur rite noones a victim sooo what do i do about how i feeel around him i mean i love him and everything and i forgive him becuz its made me a better person but wat about that effect he has on me and other ppl what do i do about dat?? and thanx roage and Damien u guys are the awesomnest!!

[D@mien]

i think i get sooo u guys are saying i should forgive him and see the positive reasons of wat he did.. i think i have...thanks for reminding me everything that happens to us is because weve agreed 2 it already sooo ur rite noones a victim sooo what do i do about how i feeel around him i mean i love him and everything and i forgive him becuz its made me a better person but wat about that effect he has on me and other ppl what do i do about dat?? and thanx roage and Damien u guys are the awesomnest!!

This is addressed to you and not other people. As roage said "He cannot do anything to you that you have not given him the power to do", maybe some part of you are feeling pity or recent for him or yourself and that is creating a victim. When in total trust of the creator (or what you would like to call it) there can be no victims and all is as it should be (no coincidences). What i get from your posts is (could be wrong) that you worry and want to help others (father, siblings, people) and maybe you forget about yourSelf is some way. As roage said "It is counter-intuitive. They way you help him (or others - my remark) is first you must help yourself. This is why you are here in this forum. One must be responsible and own their experience." I know that this was something that i had to learn in the relationship with my mother. I used to feel sorry for her and tried to step in and help to carry her weight unasked for and asked for (sometimes unwillingly). In feeling sorry for her i was creating a victim and took away the part of her being responsible for her experience. That was counter-productive, to help someone unasked for is in someway to render them powerless and to help unwillingly is to render yourSelf powerless. I didn't think of what was 'best' for me and in someway i resented her for it, when it was my Ego trying to play the hero. This did not make me feel good about mySelf, my Ego felt good on his high horse if you know what i mean. Nowadays i often still help her but only when asked for and not unwillingly. I don't pity her any longer. I no longer play the hero. Who am i to say what great plan there is for anyone. A story comes to mind.

An old man and his son lived in an abandoned fortress on the side of a hill. Their only possession of value was a horse.

One day, the horse ran away The neighbors came by to offer sympathy “That’s really bad!” they said. “How do you know?” asked the old man.

The next day the horse returned, bringing with it several wild horses. The old man and his son shut them all inside the gate. The neighbors hurried over. “That’s really good!” they said. “How do you know?” asked the old man.

The following day, the son tried riding one of the wild horses, fell off, and broke his leg. The neighbors came around as soon as they heard the news. “That’s really bad!” they said. “How do you know?” asked the old man.

The day after that, the army came through, forcing the local young men into service to fight a faraway battle against the northern barbarians. Many of them would never return. But the son couldn’t go, because he’d broken his leg.

- The Tao Of Pooh

Maybe there is a answer for you in this post, maybe not. In the end the answer lays in you. No that you have asked the question be ready for a bumpy ride. Answers may come in dreams, music or movies and so on. Kind of hard to explain. If open/ready you will know when it hits you

[ScarrletFlower111]

Thankyou i understand now. and your intuitions are rite i do try to be the hero and its all ego. ive been trying to trust the creator or SA or {} but how do i do that does it just come to you?

[Gemini]

I know that this was something that i had to learn in the relationship with my mother. I used to feel sorry for her and tried to step in and help to carry her weight unasked for and asked for (sometimes unwillingly). In feeling sorry for her i was creating a victim and took away the part of her being responsible for her experience. That was counter-productive, to help someone unasked for is in someway to render them powerless and to help unwillingly is to render yourSelf powerless. I didn't think of what was 'best' for me and in someway i resented her for it, when it was my Ego trying to play the hero. This did not make me feel good about mySelf, my Ego felt good on his high horse if you know what i mean. Nowadays i often still help her but only when asked for and not unwillingly. I don't pity her any longer. I no longer play the hero. Who am i to say what great plan there is for anyone. A story comes to mind.

I so needed to come back here, I have been away far too long...thank you D@mien for helping me.

Hello ScarrletFlower111 and welcome... and thank you for posting this thread...

[D@mien]

Thankyou i understand now. and your intuitions are rite i do try to be the hero and its all ego. ive been trying to trust the creator or SA or {} but how do i do that does it just come to you?

I so needed to come back here, I have been away far too long...thank you D@mien for helping me.

As Roage said on another thread to me when i gave thanks, "As always ego would be happy to take credit for things it really had nothing to do with. Life is like the precipice. Just relax and lean forward and gravity takes care of the rest."

We are all a part of one. One part is led to ask a question and One part is led to give a answer. Both the answer and the question may awake a slumbering part in "the other". Both are teachers and students to each other at the same time.

ScarrletFlower111:
"ive been trying to trust the creator or SA or {} but how do i do that does it just come to you?"
Trust is trust. In the end there is no trying. Either do or don't. This was not "easy" for me and i wont say i'm ready on this one. We can trust tomorrow brings a new day. We can trust it's not from the hands of man.
How you should do that i don't know. All i can say is that there is tons of material on this site
dealing with that issue. For example Roage's "fast track".
In some way your right on track when you say it just comes to you.
How it comes might not be seen as "good" at first. If hit in the head enough times one tend to question ones programing (so called truths). On rock bottom everything may come in new light. If a pattern repeats itself and the old interpretation was that of a victim of coincidences. Well if one starts to question those truths, one can start to think (and feel) maybe there are no coincidences and maybe i am no victim. Maybe I did it to mySelf. If i stop fearing and trying to control everything and instead follow what comes to me naturally. If i start to follow intuition instead of calculation and manipulation. If i stop to pity others and myself. If i stop to put myself/others/world/all down for the things i'm/they/world/all are not and instead start to love myself/others/world/all for all that we are. If where i before saw coincidence and suffering, i now see divine providence and responsibility. If this shift in me brings a shift on the outside. And if the confusion drops and moments of bliss surface. My trust feels so much "easier".

Rambling on. I'm sure someone else can explain it in a "better" way

Gemini:
"I so needed to come back here, I have been away far too long..."
Welcome back