Someone has to start this avalanche, so it may as well be me. (that's usually my function in most social atmospheres, i provoke irrevocable drastic change.) This summer, or, ever since I dialed back on my posting, I have been consumed with a question. It's the question that drives us. It's the question that brought you here tonight. (sorry I couldn't help quoting Trinity )
No, in my case the question was not "what is the Matrix". We've got a really workable answer for that one here, and I'm proud to know such a sharp bunch of Sovereigns and awakening beings.No, in my case the question was a lot more personal. It was "What is the purpose of my life?"
I had a couple of conversations with Roage in which we addressed the dubious relevance of that question. However, I was feeling propelled forward, into a formless sea of possibilities. For my own part, I am fairly content to "just be", but the sense-able potency of the void just ahead of me caused me to consider that "just being" might not me on the menu for me. I felt compelled to discover the intent of Ø with respect to my activities, at least insofar as it pertained to my immediate actions.
So I sold all my extraneous possessions that were worth money, and made plans to go to what would be my second Rainbow gathering. It's worth noting that the first one I went to was the most formative or, tone-setting experience in my life. At the gathering, which was in the Allegheny national forest this year (and this is a horrible shortening-up of the depth, breadth, and gravity of the experience), I received confirmation that I was on the right track, and, as a bonus, that I had transcended ego-based ideals of romantic "love". I fell in love with not one but two women (who both incidentally happen to be schoolteachers), and had no physical relationship with either of them, neither did I feel a lack because of it. I was able to see the divine in both of them, and in such a way as my personality 'clicked' with theirs so that the channel of divine love, respect, and appreciation was exhilaratingly clear.
That's just the beginning. I connected with some people who are starting up an artist's colony in West Virginia, and have a place there to stay if/when i ever want to settle in WV. The climate is torture for me, though, so I doubt that if I ever go there it will be 'permanent'.
There were also many other experiences and vignettes, from my encounters with a bona fide Indian Guru called Shantji, to a reunion with an old friend from Woodstock, NY, Cowboy Oger. One of the most memorable was a period of about half an hour while i was under the influence of a psychedelic at night, watching topless women dance around a fire in a drum circle. You might think it was lustful, but you weren't there. There was something so beautiful about that, that struck to the core of our reason for being human. If you've ever experienced anything like that, I don't need to explain it. If you haven't, there is no way i could.
From there I spent a couple of weeks with a good friend i met at the gathering. we went to WV together, got "settled" with the main property owner in the artist colony. He's a 32nd degree mason and everything I have spoken to him about concerning the Law and sovereignty he has pretty much agreed with.
From there I went back to tennessee, where I hooked up with Coco, one of my girls of the summer (who coincidentally lives about 45 minutes from my father's house, where I was living from january through june), and we drove out to Denver, where i spent the day with my old friend Damian from the Twelve tribes. Then i got on the bus and rode to Ashland, Oregon, wher I planned to go to the Native American (Lakota) Sundance, which was at Little Pilot Rock. The fourth or fifth person I asked if they knew where the Sundance was, his mother was AT the sundance. He ended up giving me a ride to the site, and I got connected with the leaders of one of the N.A.Spiritual circles up here in Portland. I was supposed to be on their supporter list, but the woman who I have been corresponding with concerning the Santo Daime (Gayle, who lives here in portland) somehow had not communicated to the right people and I wasn't on the list. It didn't end up mattering, and everything ended up going perfectly.
I had an experience at the sundance which I could call revelatory. I saw that there IS NO RESISTANCE to the will of God, and that all apparent resistance is illusory. That logically follows from the teaching on Sovereignty but I somehow was shown this in a way that went a whole lot deeper than logic.
The will of Ø is operant at all times and in all places, since the universe itself is purely a construct of Ø's thought. Ø has allowed for the illusion of contrariness to Ø's will, in order that the illusion of separation be maintained. The illusion of separation, as you know, is essential for any meaningful "life experience" in the level of existence we inhabit.
Since the Sundance, I spent a month sleeping on the couch of a very hospitable couple who have tried to help me get settled in here in Portland, (or PDX as the locals sometimes call it, after the airport code). I have been attending "sweat lodges" and drumming/singing practice. It is interesting that at the raffle at the end of the Sundance (Indians like giveaways, potlucks and raffles), I won a beautiful hand made hoop drum. It's used, but it has a great sound.
Now, you all might be thinking that I am turning Indian from what I have said here (aside from the fact that I have my Cherokee identification) ... See my post in the Spiritual Law section to see why i am not. I'm gonna take a nap now, but I'll post it later today I think.
